


Illusions of Worth

by KaSaPe



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hallucinations, Keith (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Post-Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 12:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15605880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaSaPe/pseuds/KaSaPe
Summary: “Gulan’s atmosphere itself is highly toxic to Alteans. Even exposure to trace elements like remnants on their suits can trigger severe headaches, hallucinations, and nausea. Breathing in the air directly would lead to imminent death.”“It’s true,” Coran said grimly. “And it isn’t a pretty death, so to speak. Even if it’s faster than some alternatives.”Keith’s expression hardened. “But it would save Shiro?”“It is possible, yes.”“Then we are doing it.”When Shiro's cryopod runs out of power and locks him inside, the team desperately needs a new power source before the steadily rising concentration of carbon dioxide kills him. Unfortunately, the only available replacement is a plant that lives on a planet that's highly deadly for humans and alteans - but not for Galra.Keith couldn't care less about the danger as long as he can save Shiro. Until his helmet flies off.





	Illusions of Worth

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be part 1 for another collab but... my partner isn't replying anymore. Which is cool, stuff can get in the way, I get it^^' Anyway, I got too attached to this fic and decided to finish it myself!!
> 
> (Sorry Keith bby, I promise it will get better;;)

“Keith.”

“Hm?” Black was mainly flying on autopilot, Keith was busy checking the planet logs Pidge had sent over. They weren’t exactly close to any of their allies, but they needed food and water if they wanted to survive for more than a week. Hunk had packed as much as he could in fifteen doboshes but they were a team of nine people and two not exactly small animals, they would have to make frequent stops if they wanted to make their journey to Earth.

“I think something is wrong with the pod.”

At that, Keith froze. “What?”

“Something might be wrong with the pod. The light just turned off.”

Keith was out of his chair faster than he could blink, trusting Black to stay close to the team. There couldn’t be anything wrong with the pod. There just couldn’t. It had been Keith who had insisted that Shiro go into it-

Just as Krolia had said, the pod had gone dark. It hadn’t activated the cyrofreeze, it had just turned off.

“No, no, no, no,” Keith mumbled, pressing against the glass. His fingertips went white with the force he was applying. But the usually touch-responsive pod but didn’t react to him at all.

“Come on, come  _on-_ ”

Nothing. Keith felt panic rise in his chest as he thought about what that would mean for Shiro. Right now, the man was sleeping peacefully - he was in sort of a coma, Allura had said. Not a harmful one, just an exhausted one. His body had been dead for hours when she had revived him and before that he had pushed himself beyond his limits in his fight against Keith. Rest was of utmost importance.

He needed to figure out what happened to the pod.

Marching back to Black’s controls, Keith hit a button to connect him to Blue. Allura’s relaxed face popped up almost immediately, smiling at him.

“Keith, is everything-”

“The healing pod is malfunctioning,” Keith interrupted her. “It just turned dark. It won’t respond anymore. What’s going on?”

“The healing pod is doing what?” Allura’s face went slack with surprise. “I can’t imagine why- why that would happen- unless-!”

“Unless what?” There was a bite in Keith’s voice he couldn’t quite control. They had just gotten Shiro back, they couldn’t lose him again.  _He_ couldn’t lose him again.

As if on command, Coran popped up next to Allura. “The healing pod might have run out of energy! I didn’t consider it before since we’ve never had to use them outside of the castle, but if that is true we need to get a new crystal to power it as soon as possible.”

“Where is the nearest Balmera?” Keith asked, already pulling Pidge’s planet logs up again. He couldn’t see any in their solar system, which meant they were definitely going to be flying for a while. A quintant, maybe two.

A bad feeling spread through him and Krolia stepped up. “What will happen if we don’t get the crystal?”

“Well,” Coran said, clearly uncomfortable. “I’m afraid it doesn’t look good for Shiro. Right now he’s essentially sealed into a pod with no air circulation, so once the toxic gases you humans expel become too much-”

Keith set his jaw and made his way back to the pod.

“Keith?”

“Keith, where are you going?”

“I’m gonna get him out of there,” Keith answered, activating his blade.

“You’re gonna do what?”

 _“Keith, don’t do that.”_ It was Krolia’s voice that made him halt his movement, his jaw tightening. He didn’t turn towards her.

“This is Shiro. I can’t let him get hurt again,” he said quietly. Shiro’s face was peaceful, despite his too-pale skin and the bags under his eyes. He had no idea that he was locked into a death trap. He trusted him to keep him safe.

Keith’s hand tightened around his blade but before he could strike the pod, Kosmo nosed at his wrist.

“I know. And we won’t let that happen,” Krolia said from beside him. “But this is the only pod your team has and you are currently enemies of the entire Galra empire again. Do not destroy it just yet.”

Keith could see the logic in her words and forced himself to put his blade down. He was the black paladin now, he had more than just Shiro to take care of. He had to think this through.

Both Kosmo and his mother stood close beside him, silently supporting him as he took deep breaths and came up with a plan.

“Alright,” he said finally and approached the screens again. “Coran, check for any close by planets or allies that could have a Balmeran crystal.”

“Will do!”

“Good.” Keith opened a new channel to the green lion. “Pidge? You there?”

“I hear you, Keith. What’s up?”

“The healing pod is out of power, we need a new crystal to get it back up and running. Right now Shiro is locked in with no air circulation - how long does he have before we need to get him out?”

Pidge blanched and scrambled to activate her gauntlet. “Um- let me just- according to my calculations we have around five hours, give or take a few minutes before the concentration of carbon dioxide becomes dangerous. He could probably survive six, but I’d advise not to push his limits.”

“I wasn’t planning to,” Keith answered. Kosmo nosed at his wrist again and he noticed that he had unconsciously curled his hand into a fist. Relaxing it, Keith nodded at Pidge. “Inform the others and check in with Hunk if he has a spare crystal or something. Coran is looking into acquiring a crystal from nearby planets, I’ll let you know if he has any success.”

“Roger that. Be back in a few.” Pidge closed their channel and Keith breathed out. Calm. He had to stay calm. Patience yields focus.

“Keith?”

Keith snapped back into reality and zeroed in on Coran. “What did you find?”

“Not much, unfortunately.” He frowned worriedly. “There are no allies nearby and no trading stations within a quintant.”

“Shiro doesn’t have that long. He has five vargas, maximum. Is there _anything_ you can think of?”

Something in Keith’s voice must have affected Coran because his frown grew even more pronounced. “There are definitely no crystals nearby. However, there might be a short-term solution - we could reactivate the pod for two quintants and contact our-”

“Coran, what are you talking about?” Allura interrupted. “The only thing that can power the cryopods are Balmeran crystals.”

“Not the _only_ thing,” Coran said, his voice weirdly heavy.

Allura’s eyes widened. “No, you can’t be talking about- Coran, you know how dangerous it is for us to-”

“What?” Keith asked. He didn’t like it when people talked over his head. “What’s going on?”

Allura turned her worried eyes to him. “There is… there is a plant that can temporarily power Altean tech. Contrary to the crystals it is very difficult to acquire though; I believe there are only two incidences where we have successfully gathered and used it. The planet it lives on is very hostile towards most species.”

“The Gulan,” Krolia said suddenly. Keith snapped his head around to stare at her as Allura nodded.

“Indeed. We… us Alteans cannot risk setting foot on the planet.”

“What is it?” Keith asked. Allura hesitated, so Krolia took over.

“Gulan’s atmosphere itself is highly toxic to Alteans. Even exposure to trace elements like remnants on their suits can trigger severe headaches, hallucinations, and nausea. Breathing in the air directly would lead to imminent death.”

“It’s true,” Coran said grimly. “And it isn’t a pretty death, so to speak. Even if it’s faster than some alternatives.”

Keith’s expression hardened. “But it would save Shiro?”

“It is possible, yes.”

“Then we are doing it.”

“Keith, you cannot be serious!” Allura said. “Humans might be different from Alteans, but it is still dangerous for you!”

“We will leave our helmets on.”

“ _Keith._ I’m not sure you are aware of how dangerous Gulan is. Even if you might not die immediately, which we cannot be sure of, the air would most definitely poison you. And its natural environment isn’t any friendlier towards-”

“Galra are unaffected by it,” Krolia said suddenly. Both Allura and Keith froze, then Keith turned towards her.

“What?”

Krolia’s calm eyes landed on him. “Galra are unaffected by the planet’s toxic atmosphere. We can breathe it in just as well as oxygen.”

Keith’s head was still racing with the new information when Pidge pinged him. He accepted the call without giving it too much thought.

“Keith? Hunk doesn’t have any replacement crystals. But he said that we could try to manually open the lower part of the pod, you know, the one that includes all the machinery so that we can get Shiro out without damaging the pod. We won’t let him get hurt-”

“Relax, Pidge. I have a plan,” Keith said. Pidge stopped her rambling and gave him a hopeful look.

“You do?”

“Yeah. Let me open a team channel to discuss this.”

Not even a second later Black’s cockpit was filled with worried voices, everyone talking over one another in an attempt to check on Shiro and to figure out what to do.

“Guys,” Keith called, quieting the team. “Calm down. I’ve got a plan.” Everyone turned their attention to him and Keith gave each of them a focused look.

“Coran found a plant that can replace the crystal for a short while, but it is located on a planet that has an atmosphere that’s highly toxic for Alteans - and by Coran’s estimates for humans, too.” He stopped for a moment to allow the team to process the information, then he continued. “According to Krolia, Galra are unaffected by it though. She and I will be visiting the planet to harvest the plant and bring it back as soon as possible.”

“And what are we supposed to do in the meantime? Sit and turn thumbs and wait for you to come back?!” Lance asked in a shrill voice. Right, he still felt guilty for the whole Shiro thing. Keith had had a short talk with him before they had started their journey home, but it had fallen to the back of his mind with recent developments.

“Not quite. Allura will take Blue and make her way towards the closest Balmera. They are our allies, right?” At her nod, Keith continued. “Good. Call them and tell them to meet you halfway with a crystal, the sooner we get the real power source, the better. Meanwhile, you guys will watch Shiro - Coran, is there any celestial body near that they can use to land on?”

“Affirmative, Gulan has a moon that should be inhabited and relatively safe to stay on.”

“Good. You guys will stay on Gulan’s moon and try to work on a way to get Shiro out of the pod that won’t damage it. Call me immediately if things start looking bad, understood?”

“Understood,” Hunk answered. He looked more serious than usual, the thought of losing Shiro again must be getting to him.

Keith could relate.

“Alright. Coran, send us the coordinates. We don’t have any time to waste.”

 

* * *

 

Keith was tense. The journey was two vargas long, which meant he and Krolia only had two vargas to find the plant and bring it back. Kosmo had given up on comforting him and had curled up in front of Shiro’s pod with his head on Krolia’s lap. His mother radiated controlled calmness as she always did on missions, something that must have been much more attractive for Kosmo than Keith’s sharp, chopped movements. He didn’t blame him, if he was in the wolf’s place he would have done the same thing.

But he wasn’t. He was the team leader now and had to figure out how to save Shiro. There was no time to rest or seek comfort.

His thoughts were circling - _not again, not again, not again._

 

* * *

 

When they were only half an hour away from their destination, the red lion attempted to contact Keith. He didn’t hesitate to accept the call, his eyes briefly flitting across Lance’s serious expression before focusing back on the coordinates.

“Lance. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Or, well, lots of things are wrong, but nothing new is wrong since the last time we talked.” Keith gave a nod of acknowledgment and after a brief pause, Lance continued. “I just wanted to know - how’re you holding up, buddy?”

“Fine.”

“Sure. Because it’s just that nice to see Shiro locked into a tube of death, huh.”

Keith gritted his teeth and tightened his grip around the controls. “What do you want, Lance?”

“I told you already, I’m just checking in. Thought I’d offer you an open ear for comfort.”

“Comfort? From you?” Keith teased half-heartedly. His hands were still too tight around the controls.

“Hey! I’m  _awesome_ at offering comfort! Who do you think was the one who comforted Coran after we beat his final boss for the third time by using secret spells in Monster and Mana?”

“I have no idea what you just said,” Keith answered honestly. Lance didn’t pause though, he just kept complaining about Keith not appreciating him enough.

Before his time in the quantum abyss, Keith would have been annoyed. But right now Lance’s senseless babbling was comforting. He had missed it, he realized with a start. It’s not that he hadn’t been aware that he had missed the paladins, it’s that he had never allowed himself to dwell on it. The things he had missed about them seemed to be more than just their faces.

“...hello? Are you even listening to me?!”

“Sorry, zoned out there for a bit,” Keith said unapologetically. Lance picked up on his tone immediately and puffed his chest out.

“You’re terrible! Just because you came back a little bigger and smarter you think you can push me around now?”

“You think I’m smarter?”

“I- what?! No, I mean - yeah, okay, you are a little smarter, but since you were an absolute dumbass before that hardly means much.”

“Takes one to know one,” Keith grinned.

“You-! Terrible, you’re terrible, I don’t know why I even called you!” Lance flailed his arms before crossing them and pouting angrily. “I hate you.”

But he still didn’t end the call.

Something in Keith’s chest warmed and he felt himself relax. His hands released the control sticks as he dropped his shoulders, giving Lance a small smile. Lance didn’t even notice it, he was too busy frowning off to the side.

“Hey, Lance?”

“Hmph.”

“Thank you.”

At that, Lance dropped his act to search out Keith’s eyes. His entire posture softened as he noticed Keith’s expression and he smiled back. “Anytime.”

Old feelings were bubbling up in Keith’s chest again and threatened to make the situation awkward. Was it possible for a crush to survive two years of no contact? It kind of seemed like it was. Keith cleared his throat to chase the thought away and almost managed to startle Lance enough to make him fall off his chair.

“A-ah! Anyways! I should get going again, I gotta call Hunk to check on him too, y’know, fulfill my duty as a good friend to the team-”

And the senseless babbling was back again, making Lance seem like the fool he liked to play so often. Keith would probably never understand him.

“Okay, see you soon, then.”

“See you? Why?”

“You’re gonna need the pod if you’re gonna try to get Shiro out of it.”

“Oh. Yeah. Right. That.” Lance was obviously flustered and something in Keith’s chest clenched. He would never understand how Lance could be so many things at once. An idiot, but smart. Cute, but deadly. Loud, but sneaky.

Careless, but dependable.

“Hey, Lance,” Keith said before Lance could end the call. Lance gave him a questioning look. “If I… look, if there are any complications with getting the plant or if I don’t make it back on time and Shiro’s condition worsens… I want you to promise me that you’re gonna get him out of there. Whatever it takes. Five hours. Not a minute more.”

Lance’s face hardened and he gave a determined nod. “You can count on me.”

A big chunk of the weight that had descended on his shoulders the moment he had seen the dark cryopod lifted. Shiro would be okay, even if they might have to sacrifice the healing pod for it. Lance would make sure of it.

Keith’s “thanks” was a lot quieter than anything he had said before. Still, Lance picked up on it and gave him a small smile before closing the connection.

Silence descended over the Black lion’s cockpit until Krolia raised her voice. “That was Lance?”

“Yep.”

“This was the first time I’ve heard you talk to your teammates outside of giving orders. You seem to get along.”

“Lance is cool. He’s a little annoying sometimes, but he’ll always have your back when it really counts.”

Krolia just hummed and turned back towards Kosmo.

 

* * *

 

Landing on Gulan’s moon and handing Shiro over to the rest of the team went by without a hitch, even if it left Keith feeling a little uneasy. He wanted to be there with Shiro, not down on the “murder planet” as Hunk had called it. But he knew that the team would take care of him, the way Pidge stuck to the pod the moment she got her hands on it was proof of that. She was worried for him; they all were.

“I’ll try to touch down over there,” Keith said to Krolia, pointing at where Gulan’s forest seemed to be a little less dense. “You might want to hold on to the seat.” The planet was absolutely covered in huge, black trees, enough that Keith had his doubts that Black would be able to reach the ground despite his size. They would have to use force to break through the plants.

It looked like a death trap. Whatever went down there wouldn’t come back up again.

Krolia approached him and frowned at Black’s screen. She didn’t say anything, but her hands tightened around the back of his chair and her stance lowered. Kosmo was with Lance and the others, so she wouldn’t have to worry about him knocking her off-balance.

After checking that Krolia was ready, Keith took the dive.

The closer they came to the forest, the eerier the planet seemed. There were no colors, everything was either black or white. Somewhere in the distance, Keith saw black gas rising from the trees. “Better steer clear of that,” he mumbled to himself and adjusted his course a little. Once again, Krolia didn’t comment.

When they breached the canopy of leaves there was some resistance, but not as much as Keith had feared. The trees cracked beneath Black’s gigantic form like dry twigs and easily allowed him to land. The problem, Keith realized quickly, wouldn’t be landing, the problem would be finding Black again after they had located the plant. As big as Black was, the trees were even taller.

It was intimidating.

Keith exhaled and stared at the weirdly colored forest before turning around to face Krolia. “Alright, Coran sent us the picture.”

“A white plant, interwoven in itself,” Krolia confirmed. Keith pulled up the picture again and they huddled together to frown at it.

“It kind of looks like a net.”

“Kind of.”

“Why does it grow like that?”

“Not a clue. It seems we will have to figure it out ourselves.”

That, Keith could agree with. He straightened up and handed Krolia a small gadget. “This is a compass set towards Black. It’ll show you the way back if we get separated.”

Krolia just frowned at it. “What about you?”

“My helmet is connected to the black lion, I don’t need one.” Finally, Krolia accepted it and attached it to her hip next to her gun.

“Ready?” she asked. Keith shrugged.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

She gave a small smile and together they left the security of Black’s cockpit.

 

* * *

 

They weren’t making much progress. In fact, they weren’t making  _any_ progress.

Keith suppressed a frustrated noise as he checked the timer on his visor again. They had been on the planet for almost a varga and all they had managed to discover were various plants that were dead set on killing them.

First, there were the trees. They seemed harmless enough, but when Keith had mindlessly bumped against one of them they had instantly grown sharp, finger-long thorns that took a few minutes to retract themselves again. He had been lucky that his suit had remained undamaged.

Second, there were the white vines that surrounded the trees. They were a little sticky to the touch and a quick scan showed that they contained a toxic substance that they shouldn’t expose their suits to too much. Once in a while, the vines seemed to come alive to change the trees they were living on - when that happened they released a lot more of their poison to melt off the thorns that were holding them up and go on their merry way. One of them had tried to climb Krolia’s leg and had promptly been blasted to pieces.

She was still missing a piece of her leg armor though.

There was more stuff - like the flowers that released a tone so high that it threatened to burst their eardrums or the moss with the teeth - but no healing pod powering plant.

“We need to split up,” Keith stated finally. Krolia halted immediately and scowled.

“I’m not leaving you alone on this death trap of a planet.”

“I don’t like the idea either, but we have to find that plant. If we separate, we can double the area we cover at the same time. We only have one varga left to find what we are looking for or Shiro-” Keith couldn’t finish the sentence without his anxiety rising. Shiro would be fine, he reminded himself. Lance had promised to get him out of it before his state became critical, even if he had to destroy the pod.

But if he did that, the team would be stuck without a healing pod until they reached Earth. It was a better alternative than the other, but Keith would be damned if he allowed the team to go without medical treatment just because he and Krolia didn’t go their separate ways now. He was better than that. They were his _team_.

Krolia seemed to understand what he was thinking without him verbalizing it.

“...fine. We will stay in touch.”

“Of course.” For a moment both of them hesitated, unsure about how to say goodbye, then they simply nodded and went their separate ways. One day he would muster up the courage to pull her into a proper hug. One day.

Not now.

Keith shook his head and marched on. The ground was uneven and shifting beneath his feet, but different from the desert. With sand, he always got the impression that there was something solid beneath him, in the forest he felt like he was walking on watery mud covered by leaves. Where would a net-like plant live on this planet?

Using his blade, he shoved a deep hanging branch out of his face. The nets weren’t covering the treetops, he would have seen that from when he had descended in Black. It was unlikely that they lived on the trees at all actually, with the toxic vines regularly moving around on them.

“That leaves the ground,” Keith mumbled to himself. He would have been concerned about animals eating the plant on the ground, except that there didn’t _seem_ to be any animals in the forest. The entire time he had spent here with Krolia he hadn’t seen anything that resembled a vaguely intelligent life form.

Keith halted. What if the plant didn’t exist anymore? What if the forest had killed it a thousand years ago?

“No. No way.” That couldn’t be true. Keith’s searching became more frantic, he shoved entire bushes aside to look below them. It had to be here, it had to be somewhere-

The white bush in front of him moved.

Keith jumped back and reflexively activated his shield. The bush kept shifting from side to side as he was rooted to the spot, eyeing it warily. Something was coming, he was sure of it. There was no way this wasn’t another weird attack from this forest of death.

But nothing could have prepared Keith for the ground itself rising, unbothered by the trees that should have obstructed its way. What he had thought to be a bush wasn’t a bush, exactly, it seemed to be part of whatever animal this was.

Because it was an animal, definitely. Stupid karma. And it had its eyes locked on Keith.

Keith swallowed dryly and activated his communication system.

“Krolia? Krolia, do you copy?”

_“Keith. Are you okay?”_

“There’s a bit of trouble, I could definitely use some backup over here!”

_“Where are you?!”_

“I’m- oh shit-” Keith scrambled backward the higher the animal rose. It resembled a stingray, only that it seemed to be able to dematerialize parts of itself to allow it to move freely through the forest. “I’m west of the black lion. I think. Don’t hit any white bushes on your way here.” And then Keith had to cut their conversation short because the ray was lunging at him.

Thinking quickly, he threw himself behind the next tree. He used the shield to protect himself from the thorns and stuck to it as closely as possible, hoping to meld into the landscape.

Except that the landscape was nothing but black and white and he wore his red paladin armor.

Keith hadn’t expected the ray to move as quickly as it did. One moment it was behind him, the next it had rounded the tree and used its tail to strike for his helmet. He raised his blade in a weak attempt to protect himself, but wasn’t quite fast enough to avoid getting hit.

The stinger on its tail struck his helmet and it flew off.

Fuck. He needed it to communicate with Krolia and the team.

Keith spun his blade around and slashed through the tail, vaguely surprised that he actually hit something despite the animal’s dematerialization abilities. It didn’t scream, but it writhed in a way that made it clear it was in pain. Using that opportunity to get his helmet back, Keith ran. He managed to grab it just before the ray struck anew, rising to its full height and throwing its body at him. The only reason he survived was that he stood conveniently close to a tree and the animal dematerialized around him.

It was a weird experience. He could tell that the air wasn’t normal, despite there being no more resistance than usual. And everything was dark, he was pretty much inside the animal.

Creepy.

Not that he cared that much, he knew that if he was sort of inside of it, important organs had to be close. Which was good, he would be able to strike it down easier.

Keith acted purely on instinct as he gripped his blade tighter and rammed it full force into the darkness.

Once again, the animal writhed and drew back. Keith didn’t stay to watch, he slammed his helmet on and took off in the general direction of the black lion.

 _“-eith?! Keith?!”_ Krolia’s voice filtered through his communication system.

“Sorry, minor complications,” he answered, panting.

_“Where were you?!”_

“My helmet flew off. I had to get it back- oh no.” A soft rustling noise was all the warning he got, but Keith knew that it meant the stingray was catching up. It moved quietly, deadly, just like the forest.

_“Your- do you have headaches? Nausea? Is your vision off?”_

“Negative to all,” Keith replied as he activated his shield and threw himself against a tree. The thorns jumped out and forced him a few inches back, but he was close enough that he was once more in the dematerialized area of the ray’s attack.

Which was good because Keith was pretty sure that the white thing he had seen for a split second was teeth and that he had just been incredibly close to becoming Gulanian ray fodder.

Krolia gave a relieved sigh as he lashed out with his blade again. The animal was faster than him and darted back before Keith could make a significant cut.

He needed support. How was he supposed to take down a monster five times his size that could become transparent and moved faster than he did all on his own? Not to mention that his surroundings were trying to kill him, too. Keith suppressed a curse and jumped towards the next tree, only to immediately continue running as the white vine around it started moving.

He couldn’t do this on his own. He needed a plan, he needed backup, he needed-

A growl sounded through the forest and intense relief spread through Keith. It was Black. Black was coming, he could feel him approaching. Trees were cracking in the distance where he pushed them aside to come save him.

Forcing his feet to move even faster, Keith sprinted towards his lion. His breath came out in harsh pants and his legs burned, but he couldn’t stop. He was pretty sure that the ground surrounding him had become a little darker, the ray was probably looming over him, preparing for another attack. A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed his fears. For the first time, he got a good look at the ray’s mouth, weirdly round and full of sharp teeth. It was big enough to swallow him whole, though Keith doubted the animal would do that with the way its teeth were clacking against one other.

Something caught against his foot and Keith went down hard. He let out a shout of surprise and yanked his shield up, protecting his side when he rolled against a tree. Just when he was about to get up, something white caught his eyes.

There it was. Right on the ground in front of him. Hope bloomed inside his chest and he grabbed the netlike plant, stumbling back to his feet to continue towards the black lion. “Krolia? Krolia, I have the plant, we can leave now!”

There was no answer, but just ticks after he had said it a loud sound assaulted his ears. It sounded a lot like a gunshot and Keith whirled around to check.

The ray was on the ground, motionless. His mother stood above it, one hand holding a broken branch from a nearby tree, the other one clutching her gun. Her eyes were wild as she caught sight of him - and then they narrowed.

“Krolia?” Keith asked, confused. Krolia dropped the branch and approached him.

“Keith, what are you doing?”

Keith did a double take. “Uh, what?”

“What are you holding? And where were you going? You said you were west of the black lion.”

“I am,” Keith said. He checked his visor to make sure of it. “Yeah. West of the black lion. I mean, he moved towards me, but I’m still west of him. And this is the plant we’re looking for.” He held up the net and offered it to Krolia for inspection.

But Krolia didn’t even look at it, she just grabbed it and threw it aside.

“What are you  _doing?!_ We need that plant!” He pushed past Krolia to pick it up again, but she caught his arm.

“Keith. That’s a vine.”

“What are you saying?! Look at it, it looks exactly like the picture Coran sent us!” Keith replied hotly. The plant was pulsing on the ground, crumpled and torn. Despite that, it was still obviously the plant they needed to power the healing pod.

“It really doesn’t. Keith, we need to get you back to-”

_“Keith?”_

Keith froze and put his hand against his helmet. “Pidge?”

 _“Keith, it’s- Keith, I’m so sorry.”_ Pidge sounded wrecked, as if she was just moments away from breaking into tears. _“It’s the pod. We- we really tried, but we just can’t-”_

“It’s okay, Pidge,” Keith said, trying to quell his own rising worry. “It’s okay. I’ve got the plant, we can power the pod up again.”

 _“No, Keith, it’s- it’s too late, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, we couldn’t- Lance tried to shoot the glass but he couldn’t pierce it, we couldn’t do anything- we tried so hard- but we couldn’t- we could only watch-”_ Pidge’s voice broke and dread settled into his stomach.

“No,” he whispered.

 _“Keith, I’m sorry,”_ she said again - and the next thing he heard were sobs.

Numbly, Keith dropped his arm from his helmet. Shiro. Shiro was… Shiro was gone. Again.

No, not again. There was no way he could get him back this time. He was gone for good.

An all-encompassing pain took hold of Keith’s chest and suddenly it got hard to breathe. “No. No, that can’t be true.”

 _“I-”_ A sob. _“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t save him. We couldn’t save him. He’s gone.”_

“No,” Keith repeated, louder this time. “No! It can’t be, I already found the plant, I just have to bring it back, we can still-”

 _“Keith, he’s gone!”_ Pidge shouted back. _“We tried everything we could! His heart stopped beating two minutes ago! He’s gone! There is nothing we can do anymore!”_

“We have to try!” Keith shouted. “We can’t just- we are so close, I can’t-”

“Keith,” Krolia said evenly, dropping a hand on his shoulder. Keith flinched. “Whatever you are hearing isn’t real.”

The sentence floated around in his brain, but it didn’t make sense. He couldn’t grab hold of it. All he could focus on was _Shiro, Shiro was gone, Shiro would never talk to him again-_

“What?”

“Whatever you are hearing isn’t real,” Krolia repeated. “During your fight against the ray, your helmet flew off. You are hallucinating.”

“What? No. No, I’m fine.” Keith knew he was fine. Coran had spoken of hallucinations, but he had also spoken of headaches and nausea and death. He was fine. And yet there was a tiny, irrational part of him that wanted to believe it, that wanted to believe that Shiro wasn’t dead yet-

A loud sound drew Keith’s attention away from Krolia and towards the sky. The trees were obscuring nearly everything, but in the tiny holes they left Keith could just barely make out purple light.

“What’s that?”

“What is what?”

“That above us, what is-”

A fresh wave of panic grabbed hold of Keith as he placed the sound. It was the sound of a big ship breaking the atmosphere. As for that color…

Not wasting any time, Keith took off in Black’s direction. Krolia was left behind, shouting his name, but he couldn’t stop. If the Galra were really approaching Gulan, they had to know that Voltron was nearby. The team only had three lions and they were currently outside, still huddled around Shiro’s pod, they were in danger-

Keith broke out of the forest into the clearing Black had made when he had come to help him. It was very easy to recognize the Galra ship from here, and even easier to see the direction it was headed to.

Right to Gulan’s moon. Right to the team.

“No, no, no,” Keith chanted as he ran towards Black. His barrier was down, as if he knew that Galra forces were near. Smart, he was protecting himself.

It didn’t lift when Keith approached him though.

“Black?” Keith asked cautiously as he pressed a hand against the barrier. Black didn’t react, he stayed where he was, unmoving. “Black? C’mon, the team needs us.”

Nothing.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you locking me out?” Somewhere behind him, Keith heard Krolia say his name. But he didn’t turn around, he was channeling all of his energy into trying to connect with Black. “ _Please_. We have to hurry. The team-”

Suddenly, an image appeared in front of his eyes. It was Shiro, his face ashen, locked into a pod.

Unmoving.

Dead.

Keith’s breath caught in his throat and he pressed a little harder against Black’s barrier. Tears were pricking at his eyes, but he couldn’t break down now. The team still needed him.

“Please. Please, we need to-”

_Not my paladin._

“What? But we are- Black, please, you have to-”

_Not my paladin. Not anymore._

Cold fear washed over him as he understood what Black was trying to say.

He had let Shiro die. He had let him down. He had let them all down.

He wasn’t worthy of being a paladin anymore.

Keith shook his head as fast as he could, trying to push the hurt aside. “No, Black, please listen, I’m sorry, I know this is all my fault, but I’m begging you to-”

“Keith, Black isn’t anywhere near here,” Krolia said from behind him.

Keith’s eyes flew open and he yanked his hand away from the barrier. “Are you stupid?!” he shouted, gesturing at Black’s blank eyes. He was sick of her acting like she was talking to an invalid. He could sense Black’s rejection, there was no way this was an illusion. “He’s _right there!_ He’s right there and he won’t let me in! Black, please-”

Something hit the back of his head and Keith went down.

 

* * *

 

When Keith woke up again, he could feel that something was off. Something was very off.

Turning in a circle, Keith tried to pinpoint what it was. He was still in the forest. Black was still in front of him, unmoving as ever. The Galra ship had moved a little further away, leaving him behind, clearly focused on getting to Gulan’s moon. Not much time could have passed, barely anything had changed.

Only Krolia. Krolia wasn’t there. Where had she gone-

 _“Keith?”_ Lance’s voice filtered in. It sounded off, too. _“Keith, where are you?! There’s a Galra cruiser locked onto us!”_

“I’m here!” Keith responded immediately. “I’m with Black, but he won’t let me in!”

_“Well, you better figure something out quick or we’ll all get blasted to space dust!”_

“I’m trying! Hang in there, I’ll get to you as soon as I can!”

Keith closed his eyes and pressed his right hand back against Black’s barrier. He could worry about Krolia later, this had his priority. She was an experienced soldier, she could survive in the forest until the battlecruiser was gone. “Come on.”

Gunshots filtered through his connection with the team. He heard someone screaming and his heart lurched.

_“Keith!”_

“Come on…”

_“Lance, on your left!”_

_“Hunk, what are you doing?!”_

_“The pod is heavier than I expected, cover me just a little longer-”_

_“I’m trying, but my lion can’t take much more!”_

“Come on…!”

_“Pidge!”_

_“Back up, I need back up-”_

_“I’m hit! My controls aren’t responding properly anymore!”_

_“Lance, where are you?!”_

_“I’m over here, I’ll be right there, hang on, buddy-”_

_“Keith, we really need you over here!”_

“Please!” Keith shouted, dropping his blade and with it all pretenses at staying calm. He pressed both hands against the barrier and stared up into Black’s empty eyes as if he could force their connection to come back. “Please, I’m begging you! The team is dying! They need me!”

Nothing.

_“Keith!”_

_“Guys, is- is that an ion cannon?”_

A fresh wave of fear washed over Keith. Where were all these emotions coming from? He had never thought that he would able to be this afraid, it shouldn't be possible.

_“Evasive maneuvers!”_

_“I can’t! I’m hit! They’re aiming at me!”_

_“I’m coming, Pidge!”_

_“No, don’t, you can’t-”_

_“HUNK!”_

An ear-shattering explosion drowned out all other noise and for a moment Keith could do nothing but hold his breath. Then the sound faded and distressed voices filtered in.

_“Hunk?!_

_“Hunk, buddy, please say something!”_

_“Hunk, are you okay?”_

“What happened?!” Keith asked frantically. “Hunk? Answer us! What happened?”

 _“Hunk took a hit from the ion cannon for me,”_ Pidge replied, a little hysterical. _“Hunk, please! Please, say something!”_

But he didn’t reply. No matter how much Lance and Pidge shouted, Hunk didn’t say anything.

Dead, supplied Keith’s brain. He didn’t know how, but he was sure of it. Hunk was dead because he hadn’t gotten Black to work with him.

And Lance and Pidge would be next.

Something inside of him broke as he screamed and threw his fists against Black’s barrier. But no matter what he did, Black didn’t react.

_Not my paladin, not my paladin, not my paladin._

No one’s paladin.

 _Galra_ , a voice said that sounded suspiciously like Allura from the past. _You’re Galra._

His surroundings blurred and Black got replaced by Allura. Keith was confused until he remembered Krolia’s words - this wasn’t real. The connection with Black, the team’s suffering, nothing he had heard was real. He was hallucinating because his helmet had gotten knocked off. That’s why everything felt weird about this.

A little bit of hope bloomed in his chest and he took a deep breath. The team was fine. Hunk was fine. Shiro was, too. There was no Galra cruiser. Everything was okay, he just couldn’t trust his senses right now.

Krolia knew what was real though, so where was she now? Was that Krolia in front of him, not Allura?

“...mom?” he asked hesitantly, extending his hand. Allura scowled at him and he quickly snatched it back.

“I’m disappointed in you.”

“What?” Keith asked, frowning back at her. Allura’s expression slowly merged from angry to heartbroken.

“I thought - I thought you were different. I thought you were more than that.”

“I don’t understand,” Keith answered. He felt oddly vulnerable but didn’t cross his arms. Allura hadn’t crossed hers either, she was showing him her true feelings. He couldn’t be defensive now.

“I thought - I really thought that I was wrong. That maybe not all Galra are the same. But then you left the team to join the Blade because you had your own ideas of what is important-”

“-it was! The quintessence trail we found there was very similar to-”

“-and you nearly let us die for that!” She shouted, drowning out his voice. Keith flinched and drew back.

“I’m sorry. If I had known-”

“You would have what? Piloted Black?” There was a bite in her voice that hurt him more than expected. “This seems to be a pattern with you, huh? When the team needs you, you are suddenly incapable of piloting your lion.”

“I didn’t- I don’t know what went wrong right now-”

“Hunk is dead because of you.”

Keith could barely breathe through the guilt. This might not have been real, but it sure  _felt_ real.

“Hunk is dead because of you. You got lucky last time, Shiro was there to clean up your mess. But now that he’s gone, we don’t have that safety anymore. And you have shown again that we can’t depend on you when we really need to.”

“Allura,” Keith said in a shaky voice, “I’m sorry.”

Allura’s eyes were full of unshed tears and disappointment. “I left them behind because I thought I could count on you. But your word never meant anything, did it?”

Keith could feel himself breaking further. “Allura-”

“You and Lotor. Zarkon. Honerva. All of you. Why is it that the Galra always betray us? Maybe it was wrong of me to hope there could be good in you.”

“No, Allura, please-”

“Don’t come any closer, Keith.” Keith hadn’t even noticed that he had stepped forward, but at Allura’s words, he stumbled back. She was hugging herself now, looking way younger than she usually did. So helpless, so defenseless. Her hair was obscuring her eyes and she was biting her lip. “I don’t want you anywhere near me. Near me... or my team.”

Keith was frozen to the spot as she looked up again and shook her head, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Despite that, her face was set. Gone was the vulnerable girl, replaced by the warrior princess that had witnessed the destruction of her entire planet and survived.

“We don’t need you any longer. Take your mother and leave. Don’t come back.”

Keith was shaking as he once more reached out towards Allura. But she had made her decision, her bayard held up as an obvious warning.

It was too much. Keith couldn’t stay. “I’m sorry,” he whispered - then he turned and left.

He didn’t run. He couldn’t, he didn’t have the strength for it. He stumbled forward, one foot in front of the other, sometimes bumping against a tree.

No thorns appeared. Of course; it was an illusion. Keith knew that.

So why was he still listening to Allura? Why was he leaving? Why did it hurt to hear her speak like that?

Slowing down, Keith closed his eyes. If he just calmed down, he could get through this. He had no idea how long it would take for the hallucinations to run out, but he just had to stay rational. Keep a cool head. He could do this.

“Keith?”

Keith let out a sigh of relief when he heard his mother’s voice. She was back. “You’re still here.”

“I am.”

A smile snuck itself on his face and he turned around. Krolia stood tall and determined, her sharp eyes focused on him.

“I don’t know for how long though.”

His stomach plummeted to his feet. “What- what do you mean?”

“They died, Keith. Your teammates are dead.”

“I thought- but you said-”

“They are dead,” Krolia repeated with a hard voice. “They died because you were reckless enough to lose your helmet. You made us lose time we could have spent searching for the plant instead.”

“What? But that was an accident, I didn’t even know that animals existed on this planet!”

“You are a trained soldier. You should have been better than that.”

Keith was confused. At this point, he had no idea what was real anymore. He didn’t know what to feel. “I- I’m sorry, I just- I wasn’t prepared-”

“If you had paid attention, you could have saved Shiro. You wouldn’t have needed me to rescue you.”

“I’m sorry-”

“You know,” Krolia’s eyebrows drew into a frown, “I always wondered if you exaggerated how much Shiro had to look out for you. I can see now that that wasn’t the case.” Keith kept silent, unsure where she was going with this. “You are weak, Keith.”

“I’m not! I-”

“He’s dead because of you. If you had finished the animal off by yourself, you would have had enough time to bring the plant back to him.”

That was true. Keith swallowed hard and drew his shoulders up. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

Krolia shook her head. “I’m not the one you have to apologize to.”

The words hit him like a physical blow. Because she was right, he didn’t have to apologize to her. It was Shiro he had to apologize to. Apologize for failing him again and again, for never living up to his expectations - for killing him.

Because this was reality, apparently. He had killed Shiro. His friend, his brother, the one he could always depend on.

“I’m ashamed to call you my son.”

Keith wanted to say something, but no words would come out. It was a low blow, really, to go right for his oldest fear.

“You were a mistake.”

The blood rushing through his ears should have made it hard to understand her, but he could hear her words as clear as day.

“I wish I never had to see you again.”

_Ashamed. A mistake. Never see you again._

“No,” Keith forced out, squeezing his eyes shut. “No, that’s not true. You said- in the rift you said-”

“In the rift,” Krolia repeated mockingly. “That was before I got to know you, wasn’t it?”

It was.

“Before you failed the few people you were put in charge of.”

It was.

“But you said- you said you loved me,” Keith said. He would have been ashamed of the cracks in his voice if he had had an ounce of pride left.

“No. I loved the idea of you. You, however, are a disappointment.”

Keith curled his hands to fists. “That's not true, it’s not- it’s not true, it can’t be true, this is just an illusion-” He scrambled to mute his helmet, but Krolia’s words still somehow reached his ears.

“And now you are in denial because you’re unable to handle the truth. A sign of the weak. Pathetic.”

Keith’s knees gave in and he shook his head. It was an illusion. It was an illusion. It wasn’t real. His mother loved him, she had said so, he had seen her past, he knew it was true-

Or was it?

Footsteps sounded. Keith looked up to see Krolia was leaving, her back distancing herself at a steady pace.

She was leaving him. Again.

An ugly noise tore out of his throat as he reached out for her. She didn’t turn back, she just kept going. And why wouldn’t she? She had made it perfectly clear that she would rather not have anything to do with him anymore for the rest of her life.

“Keith? Are you there?”

Fear overtook Keith’s heart as he identified the new voice. Lance.

No. Please. He couldn’t handle this.

“Keith?”

Keith kept quiet, hoping that the hallucination wouldn’t find him. He got to his feet and inched backward slowly, one hand extended so that he wouldn’t hit anything that could give his position away. He managed three steps before: “There you are.”

Jumping at the unexpected voice, Keith whirled around. Lance was standing directly in front of him, close enough to touch if he lifted his arm just a little. There was blood running down his face and his expression was as cold as Keith had ever seen it.

“Were you hiding? Was that what you were doing this whole time?!”

“No, I-”

“Seriously?! I mean, I always knew you were an ass, but this is a new low, even for you. Do you understand what just happened out there? Pidge is too injured to move! Hunk is dead! My best friend! Gone! Because you were too scared to do your job and fight with us!”

Lance’s anger sparked something inside him and Keith balled his fists. “I wasn’t hiding! I swear I wasn’t! I was with Black the whole time, but he wouldn’t let me in!”

“Oh, sure,” Lance sneered. “Mister flying prodigy coincidentally can’t fly the black lion anymore the moment his chances at survival become close to zero.”

“Do you seriously think I would do that?” Keith shouted. “Do you seriously think I would just stand by and listen to you guys die if I had had a choice?!”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” There was a bitterness in Lance’s voice that made Keith want to punch something. “I’ve never been able to figure you out.”

“I would never betray you like that,” Keith said through gritted teeth. Lance just scoffed and crossed his arms.

“That’s what they all say.”

“It’s true!”

“If it is true, why does it keep happening?”

Keith stopped breathing for a moment as he fought against the dread that threatened to settle in his stomach. “...what do you mean?”

“This wasn’t the first time, not even close! Saving Allura from Zarkon? No, you’d rather we stay at the castle, not risk anything by going to the headquarters. Zarkon is tracking us? Better disappear in a pod before you’re made to actually fight. Taking over the black lion to keep Voltron alive? No, you being a little sad about Shiro is much more important than protecting the universe. Staying with us and help us gain new allies for the coalition? Better run off to your Galra buddies to keep yourself safe as much as possible.”

“That’s not what happened!” Keith shouted. “I had my reasons for doing all of these things, I was just-”

“Just what? Protecting the team? Trying to help? Well, newsflash, Keith - if your ‘help’ consists of you running off when we need you the most, you can go help elsewhere.” Lance’s eyes were dark and murderous in a way he had never seen them. Not even when it came to fighting Zarkon… and it was directed at him.

Keith hadn’t known that there still was a piece of his heart that was complete until it broke.

“Why are you saying that? You know me. We- we are friends, Lance,” he said quietly.

Lance shook his head with a disgusted expression. “Friends? We were never  _friends._  I tolerated you, at best.”

His heart pounded in a way that was entirely painful. His vision was blurring. “But- but you supported me when Shiro was gone, and we- we had fun together, we-”

“Are you an actual idiot? I know I always call you one but are you seriously that stupid? Keith, we’re  _rivals_. I’m getting along with you for Allura’s sake, nothing else. If I was given the choice, I would have kicked you off the team months ago.”

Keith stumbled back until his back hit a tree and leaned against it. He couldn’t keep himself upright anymore. His emotions were a mess, he didn’t know what to do.

“And now that you killed Hunk I finally have a reason to! I hope you’re happy, asshole.” Lance spat on the ground in front of him and turned to leave.

No.

“Wait!” Keith said, extending his arm. He couldn’t handle another person leaving him. His incompetence had killed Shiro and his mother had left him, but if Lance left, too, he wouldn’t have anything left. “Wait, please-”

Lance stopped. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that,” he said, his voice dangerously low. “You have a crush on me, don’t you?”

Keith recoiled violently and hit his head against the tree. It didn’t hurt, he was too afraid to feel the pain.

If there ever was any. This was an illusion. Right. “It’s all an illusion,” he whispered, trying to blend out Lance’s voice. “It’s an illusion, it’s not real, it’s not- Lance doesn’t actually think that-”

“Don’t you dare talk on my behalf!” Lance groused. “I was gonna leave it with a simple ‘I’m not interested in you’ but you know what? We can talk about it. Let’s talk about how you pathetically attached yourself to the first person in your life that showed you non-familial affection. Let’s talk about the looks you give me while I pretend that I’m oblivious to them. Do you enjoy staring at me? Do you get off to watching me destroy drones in the training room?”

“No! No, Lance, I swear I’m not like-”

“I’m disgusted, Keith. I’m disgusted by you and everything you stand for. By the way you run away from things and how you linger around me like some kind of creep. In case it wasn’t clear enough yet: I want nothing to do with you. Leave before you get the rest of us killed, too.”

It was too much. It was too much, way too much - Keith turned around and ran.

“Yes, just like that! Run from your problems, that’s what you always do, right? You coward!”

Keith’s feet were hammering away on the forest ground as he tried to get as much space between himself and the illusion. Because that’s all Lance was, an illusion. He wasn’t real. None of them had been real. None of them had left him for good, he was fine, he was okay, he would get through this, he was-

For the second time that day, his feet got caught in something and he fell to the ground.

 

* * *

 

When Keith awoke, he heard the gentle hiss of a healing pod opening. He stumbled forward, fully prepared to fall to the ground, when an arm wrapped around him and held him up.

“Whoops. Careful, there.”

That voice.

All of Keith’s post-healing dizziness disappeared as his head snapped up. “Shiro?!”

And there Shiro was, smiling down at him, his white hair shining brightly in the sun. Behind him, Keith could make out the faces of his team - Lance, Pidge, Allura, Krolia - Hunk, Hunk was there, too - the relief he felt was strong enough to make his knees buckle.

“Wow. Still a little unsteady?”

“Yeah. Sorry,” Keith said, clinging to Shiro’s form. He felt so real under his hands.

“No need to be sorry. I’ve got you.”

“Right. Thanks.” Keith gave himself a few ticks to calm down and get his breathing under control, then he straightened up. “Where are we?”

“Olkarion,” Pidge answered. She grinned and adjusted her glasses, looking rather proud of herself. “Turns out that they have some pretty good tech to help repair the healing pod.”

“Huh.” Keith stayed close to Shiro, afraid that he might disappear again if he moved too far away. “It’s good to see you guys again.”

“Same to you, man,” Lance said. For a second Keith was afraid to look at him, then he admonished himself for that stupid feeling. This was the real Lance. The real Lance didn’t hate him or knew about his crush. They were friends.

Still, there was an undeniable feeling of relief when Keith looked at him and just found a soft, genuine smile on his face. Keith smiled back, before turning towards the yellow paladin.

“You too, Hunk.”

“Aww, buddy. I missed you, too. Group hug?”

Keith laughed and nodded his assent, secretly thrilled at having them all so close. The team didn’t even hesitate for a moment, they practically threw themselves at him and held him close.

It felt so warm, so real. So different from the cold colors of the forest. With someone’s hair in his face and elbows pressed uncomfortably against him, Keith felt like he could breathe freely for the first time in a while.

“We all made it,” he stated, smiling as he put his forehead against Hunk’s shoulder. Hunk said something in reply that Keith missed completely, too happy at the rumbly laugh that followed to care.

When the group dissipated, Keith finally felt whole again. His eyes were shining as they found Shiro’s face, healthy and alive.

“We made it. How did we do it? Did Krolia get the plant? Olkarion wasn’t anywhere near Gulan, last I checked.”

Shiro smiled. “She didn’t.”

“She didn’t? Did I get it? I honestly can’t remember, I was caught up in hallucinations for the ride back.”

“You didn’t either.”

Keith frowned and looked away from Shiro to their tech duo and back. “I… didn’t? Who did?”

“No one did,” Shiro replied, still smiling. “I am dead, Keith. You let me die.”

Keith’s heart stopped beating. “What?”

“I’m dead. You didn’t bring the plant back on time. You killed me. Your failure was my undoing.”

The terror that descended onto him was unlike anything he had felt before. Shiro was dead. Dead for good. Gone because of his incompetence, his weakness. Keith had  _murdered_ him.

Except that dead people couldn’t talk.

“No, no, no, please, no,” Keith whispered as he slowly moved away from Shiro. Shiro’s smile had dropped now, he was looking at him with an expression so blank he might as well have been a statue.

“You killed me. You are weak. You are a disappointment.”

“You are a murderer,” Hunk chimed in. Keith’s head snapped around to look at him and he regretted it immediately. An empty face greeted him, one that was even worse than Shiro’s. He couldn’t find any of Hunk’s usual warmth anywhere, it was like staring at a completely different person. “You killed me.”

“You killed me.”

“It’s your fault.”

“So weak.”

“Stop,” Keith whispered. They didn’t listen, they just grew louder in their accusations. It didn't take long for the others to join, too.

_“Incompetent.”_

_“Failure.”_

_“Murderer.”_

_“Worthless.”_

_“Killer.”_

_“Asshole.”_

“Stop!” Keith screamed. Still, they didn’t listen.

_“You killed me.”_

_“I trusted you.”_

_“Get away from us.”_

_“I should have left you when I had the chance.”_

_“It hurts to look at you.”_

_“Murderer.”_

Keith shook his head and slammed his hands against his ears. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t tune their words out. They were stuck in his brain, spoken right into his mind, clear even when he screamed over them.

“It’s not real,” he told himself, falling to his knees. “It’s not real, they are not really here, we are not on Olkarion, they are illusions, it’s not real-”

“Look, now he has completely lost his mind,” Lance said.

And laughed.

There was laughter all around as more and more people joined. First Pidge, then Krolia, then Hunk and Shiro. Allura. Coran. Romelle. Ryner. Slav. Kolivan. Regris, Illun, Vrek. Iverson, the ladies from the group home- his dad.

Tears were dripping from his eyes as Keith pressed his hands harder against his ears. “Stop. Stop- it’s not real- it’s not real, nothing about them is real-”

But it didn’t stop.

It didn’t stop for a long time. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [The tumblr](http://keiths-stupid-mullet.tumblr.com/),,,


End file.
